When everything is going wrong...

Yes, I've holed up with my bruja books in order to get out of my stupid depression due to my effed-up decisions. Through synchronicity, I was guided to a quick read that is a new favorite of mine: The Game of Life and How to Play It by Florence Scovel Shinn. It's a re-education on Universal law and manifestation.

I was granted some kind of Universal reprieve after feeling like absolute shet from August to mid-November. The game of life was once again replacing the notion of life as struggle. Things were falling into place. This relief, however, was short-lived.

Now everything is going wrong. My cat is very sick. Members of my human family are ailing as well. Worse still, I find myself mired in a malaise again, feeling overwhelmed and devalued. I have nothing to wear to our show on Thursday. It's a very special event, and it demands a stylish outfit, but I haven't had time to shop; I've been tending my cat. I have had little rest because, although I am sleeping normally, my nights are plagued with dreams I shouldn't be dreaming. Former loves and classmates. An elementary school testing situation, even, which my dad suggests is the hallmark of a highly stressful time. Then I awake to the dying cat on my chest, the tiny furry reason Luke and I have been fighting/not talking for two days. It's certainly a challenge to stay centered and to see the good in now.

I don't know how to proceed yet, but I am peaceful in the seeming unhappiness because now is not forever. I've read enough books to know that. Plus, Shinn reassures me, "When one has made his demands upon the Universal, he must be ready for surprises. Everything may seem to be going wrong, when in reality, it is going right." So here's to everything going right!